The Ultimate Guide to Becoming A Sensual Man – 8 Things Any Man Can Do
What does it mean to be a sensual man? There are a number of things sensual men do, routinely and naturally, that make them more sensual than the rest of their brotherhood. Some do a few of them and others do all of them but none of these men consider any of these things to be an affront to their masculinity.
Would we call them Metrosexuals, Ubersexuals, or Heteropolitans? Would we say that they’re in touch with their feminine side? Maybe. I would say that these guys are evolved. As I wrote in a blog post a couple of months ago, they are a different breed of cat. They allow themselves to freely and unabashedly express their true selves in a very sophisticated, yet authentic way. They’ve gotten out of their own way, broken through the stereotypes of maleness and refused to accept the teachings of the caveman.
It isn’t about being ego-centric, vain, self-absorbed or a walking fashion model wannabe. This is a man who has confidence in himself, who is clear about what he wants out of life, how he wants to show up for himself, his family, his lover, his friends, his colleagues and the people he encounters on a daily basis. He either has a natural predisposition toward the finer things in life or he has developed a healthy appreciation – in either case, his lifestyle is a life-of-style laced with a generosity of spirit for him and others.
Before going further, there’s a precept worth underscoring here. Men can develop their sensual side – it is a matter of mindset – it’s a decision. It does take time for the evolution to occur but the effort is worth the result.
Here are 8 things any man can do to develop your inherent sensual side.
1. Grooming Heads the List
From head to toe, a regular grooming regime is essential. Good grooming is just a habit and once you get into the swing of it, you won’t even think twice about doing it.
• A good haircut that is style forward, age appropriate and works well with your type of hair is critical. It is one of the first things people will notice about you so it is essential to keep your hair trimmed and looking sharp.
• If you want to cover grey or spruce up your natural hair color, leave it to the professionals. The extra expense is definitely worth the result.
• Use a face wash/scrub in the shower. The skin on your face is more sensitive than the rest of your body so it’s best not to use bar soap or shower gel for face cleansing. If you have a beard, keep it well trimmed and make sure you shave your neck hair. Get a good personal groomer for the nose and ears.
• Moisturize your skin after shaving. Get a good moisturizer and eye cream. Many men are buying anti-aging creams lately. Moisturizers and eye creams make a big difference with hiding fine lines and wrinkles. Don’t forget to include your neck in this routine.
• Keep your nails trimmed short and clip the cuticles. Consider the possibility of getting a manicure and pedicure once a month or so.
• Trim your eyebrows in a natural shape or go to a salon for waxing or threading.
2. Dress Appropriately For Every Occasion
You’ve heard the expression Clothes Make the Man (Mark Twain). What you wear says a lot about who you are. Again, it’s one of the first things people will notice about you. In fact, they will draw conclusions about you based on your attire. Whether you’re fashion forward in your clothing selections or not, there are certain things you need to keep in mind.
• Keep your clothing clean, pressed and neat looking. Have your shirts done professionally. Make sure the buttons aren’t broken and are sewn on securely. If the garment starts to fray or the cleaners can’t get a spot out completely, it needs to be thrown away or donated.
• Color coordinate. If you have trouble with color, invite a trusted friend over to help you pair up your shirts, ties, suits, socks, belts and shoes.
• Keep an eye on the fashion magazines to see what’s in style. Buy a few new things each month to keep your wardrobe fresh and to make you feel sharp.
• Hang up your clothes at the end of the day. A suit that hasn’t been hung properly on a good hanger will look rumpled and people will notice.
• Put some thought into dressing for an occasion. If you’re not sure what the attire should be, ask the host or hostess
• Make sure your shoes are polished and in good condition. Also, make sure your belt and shoes are the same color – don’t mix your blacks and browns.
3. Women Love a Man Who Cooks!!
Lots of guys Barbeque and that’s great but what I’m talking about here is preparing a full meal from shopping to serving.
• There are lots of cookbooks out now that have easy recipes that anyone can follow and foodnetwork.com is packed with great information and cooking tips/techniques.
• If you’re new at it, practice on yourself. When you get a recipe down pat, invite a friend over and the next thing you know you’ll be throwing dinner parties.
• Women love it when a man cooks for them. They’ll see it as thoughtful and incredibly endearing.
4. Your Home is a Reflection of You
The sensual man knows how important it is to live well. Your home may not be a penthouse but it needs to be well kept, attractively decorated and welcoming.
• If neatness doesn’t come naturally to you, consider the possibility of hiring an organization professional who will help you categorize and sort through your belongings so that everything has its place. Once you
have that tackled, you just have to practice picking up after yourself.
• Consider hiring a housekeeper to clean thoroughly at least every other week.
• Keep the dishes washed and at least in the dish rack – not sitting dirty in the sink.
• Make the bed daily and keep the towels hung neatly in the bathroom.
• If you don’t have a good sense of decorating, ask a friend to suggest some ideas or hire a decorator. If money is an issue, think about hiring a local college student from the School of Interior Design. Remember, you don’t have to do everything in one go.
5. Entertain Your Friends
Entertaining is your opportunity to share your home with your friends and do something special for them. You don’t need to wait for a special occasion, just decide it’s time for a party and start planning.
• Plan the food and drinks carefully to ensure that your guests are comfortable, well cared for and have fun (there is lots of information on the Internet to help guide your plan)
• Try to have coordinated plates, cloth napkins and nice glasses for your guests as opposed to paper and plastic.
• Buy a few candles, including candle holders to make the room warm and inviting.
• Put a candle (preferably scented) in the bathroom and make sure there are clean hand towels for your guests.
• Make sure the house is neat and clean
• Select music specifically suited for the people who will be attending.
• Unless you are throwing a big bash, make sure there is enough seating for all your guests.
6. Are You Listening?
An evolved, sophisticated man understands the art of conversation and the importance of learning more about someone else’s life by listening and asking questions. Here are some tips for perfecting the art of conversation.
• Ask thoughtful and follow-up questions to pull out more details. Listen to their answers and maintain comfortable eye contact while they’re speaking.
• Don’t interrupt
• Avoid preambles and life stories – make your point and move on
• Be careful about getting too personal, especially at a first meeting.
• Don’t engage in one-upmanship – it’s annoying
• In a group setting, don’t talk to just one person and don’t dominate the conversation.
• Think before you speak – keep your foot out of your mouth.
7. Cultural Well Roundedness
The sensual man fits in anywhere – from the Sports Arena to the Opera House. He stays up-to-date on contemporary culture, he knows what is on exhibit at the major museums, he attends the theatre as often as possible and from time to time he enjoys the Ballet, Symphony and the Opera.
• Read – it increases your vocabulary, stimulates your imagination and deepens your knowledge base enhancing your conversational skills
• Familiarize yourself with current events
• Expose yourself to what’s happening in pop culture – read top blogs, know what is popular on TV, stay current the music world and the latest movies.
• Travel for enjoyment and to learn about other cultures
8. Emotionally Speaking
Expressing and showing emotion doesn’t come naturally to most men. I learned recently that testosterone actually dampens feelings in men. So, men have to work at it but when they do, they find that they are happier and their relationships are happier too. I found the following useful tips on a website called Men’s Line Australia:
• Be aware of the sensations in your body. Emotion always manifests somewhere in the body. Anger might be experienced as a flush of heat in the face, sadness as a tightening throat, anxiety as a knot in the stomach. Practicing some forms of meditation can help you to get in touch with these sensations and learn to understand what they mean.
• When you are feeling angry, ask yourself what other emotions you might be feeling? Are you really sad underneath, or afraid?
• Take the risk of showing your vulnerability with people who you feel safe with. Give yourself permission to be a human, not a robot.
• Break the mold; ask for help when you need it.
• Learn to put words to what you are feeling.
• Try counseling. Talking with a ‘professional listener’ may help you identify the feelings behind a particular concern.
• Identifying and expressing feelings is learned behavior – it only takes practice.
How to Affect a Smooth Transition
It isn’t always easy to make changes in our lives but here are a few tips that you can employ easily to make this or any transition go more smoothly.
• Goals: Set out measurable goals complete with target dates. Start your day by rewriting and reading your goals to keep them firmly planted in the forefront of your mind. Goals are actions not wishes.
• Balance: Incorporating the sensual side of you into your lifestyle requires that you find balance among all of the demands on your time. Notice the times when you feel overwhelmed and think about what is causing it. If you can’t eliminate the stress factors involved, consider the possibility of changing the way you react to them. You have a right to your life; you are in charge of it and you always have choices on how you live. Always.
• Set priorities: You don’t have to react to every email, text or telephone call.
• Nurture yourself: Your mental and physical wellbeing is a critical element to your fulfillment. Get plenty of exercise and rest. Eat well, drink plenty of water, go for a massage, and try meditation. If you treat your body well, it will reciprocate.
• Time management: If you are a procrastinator, take a good look at the level of stress that is bringing to your life. Make a list of the things you need to get done and think of creative ways to get them accomplished. You don’t always have to do everything yourself. There are plenty of people who will handle the things you don’t want to do and it doesn’t have to cost a lot. Outsource.
• Be positive: Take a few minutes every day to think about what you’re grateful for. You can do this one at the same time you are rewriting and reading your goals. It will help you see how far you have come, appreciate what you have and inspire you to move forward to greater things.
• Love yourself: True love isn’t something that’s going to come to you someday, from someone else. It starts with you. Giving yourself the gift of becoming a more evolved, well rounded, balanced human being will open your mind, your soul and your heart.
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Be essentially sensualÂ™